April 22, 1987
I can remember one year in high school being assigned to write about a pet peeve. At the time I had a hard time coming up with one, now I could probably fill a good size book, such as:
- Ketchup bottles that refuse to spill forth their contents.
- Medicine tablets packaged in sheets of aluminum foil that refuse to be torn or punctured.
- Cassette tapes fixed in plastic covers that defy opening.
- Shoes with tiny heel caps that wear down in one week.
- Pens that won’t write on a sheet of paper held up against a wall.
- Glasses that are always losing the screw that hold the stem.
- Purses in which everything goes to the bottom.
- Frozen foods that state they should not be microwaved.
- Toys that have to be assembled and include six pages of directions.
- An aged, overused dining table that rocks when touched.
- Ants that creep into the kitchen every spring.
- Upright vacuum cleaners that only will take one model refill bag.
- Straws that don’t bend.
- Soda can tops that break off when pulled.
- Caged birds that throw seeds.
- Candles with no wick.
- Matches that strike against only one surface.
- Jars with fixed lids.
- Empty ice cube trays in the freezer.
- Self-serve gas stations on a stormy day.
- Items that can only be ordered through a catalog.
- Drivers who don’t use turn signals.
- Banking machines that are closed.
- Pictures on driver’s licenses.
- Talking to telephone answering machines.
- Children who have an eagle’s eye for finding Easter eggs but can’t see the salt on the cupboard shelf.