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December 12, 2018

The Boring Word About Pet Peeves


April 22, 1987

I can remember one year in high school being assigned to write about a pet peeve. At the time I had a hard time coming up with one, now I could probably fill a good size book, such as:

  • Ketchup bottles that refuse to spill forth their contents.
  • Medicine tablets packaged in sheets of aluminum foil that refuse to be torn or punctured.
  • Cassette tapes fixed in plastic covers that defy opening.
  • Shoes with tiny heel caps that wear down in one week.
  • Pens that won’t write on a sheet of paper held up against a wall.
  • Glasses that are always losing the screw that hold the stem.
  • Purses in which everything goes to the bottom.
  • Frozen foods that state they should not be microwaved.
  • Toys that have to be assembled and include six pages of directions.
  • An aged, overused dining table that rocks when touched.
  • Ants that creep into the kitchen every spring.
  • Upright vacuum cleaners that only will take one model refill bag.
  • Straws that don’t bend.
  • Soda can tops that break off when pulled.
  • Caged birds that throw seeds.
  • Candles with no wick.
  • Matches that strike against only one surface.
  • Jars with fixed lids.
  • Empty ice cube trays in the freezer.
  • Self-serve gas stations on a stormy day.
  • Items that can only be ordered through a catalog.
  • Drivers who don’t use turn signals.
  • Banking machines that are closed.
  • Pictures on driver’s licenses.
  • Talking to telephone answering machines.
  • Children who have an eagle’s eye for finding Easter eggs but can’t see the salt on the cupboard shelf.

 

CCW

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