The Boring Word About Lawn Mowers?

April 23, 1986

While most of you are lamenting the late arrival of spring I’m not so sure it isn’t a blessing in disguise. Ever since March 21 I have been stealing myself for spring’s arrival.

Now I enjoy the warm days, sunshine, and flowers as much as anyone. But I also know the realities of life. Not only do the flowers grow but so does the grass. This means I must now convince the men that they should at least attempt to start our mower.

Normally I am not intimidated by mechanical gadgets but, lawn mowers and I do not get along. Even brand new ones refuse to start for me. So it falls to my lot to persuade my husband or one of my sons to mow the grass.

No family could have as many excuses to not mow the lawn as mine does. You can’t mow it when it’s wet, or too hot, or too cold. We have to fit it in to our schedule – and that never works out.

Even the weather cooperates with their stalling techniques. It always rains just as the school bus arrives or on the only day my husband is home.

Then there is the mower itself! According to them the mower is always in need of repair. Usually they have it in a million pieces on the basement floor. If it’s not the carburetor it’s something else. The few times it is in running order it will be out of gas! Last year the handle broke on our new mower and it took all summer to fix. Don’t mention calling a repair man – this is considered an insult to their masculine egos!

By the end of a summer of growing grass and multiplying excuses I am usually ready for the snowfall! Recently there were several ads in our paper for goats. Perhaps I should consider them as an alternative!